Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Dear Person Who Wouldn't Let Me Pass Them:

My current job requires me to drive to work.  Which means no more public transportation. Which means the risk of running into complete wierdos is significantly less while sitting by myself in my car.  (This does not bode well for my attempt at rejuvenating this blog.)  That being said, there are some asshole drivers out there.  In fact, Boston drivers are routinely rated as among the worst in the nation.  You are a prime example of one of those asshole drivers.  I don't think I drive particularly fast, but I certainly drive above the speed limit.  I usually pony up in the far left lane (i.e. what should be the "fast lane"), and just go with the flow of traffic.  That is until I encounter someone driving annoyingly slow, in which case I pass them and continue on my merry way in the "fast lane."  You were driving annoyingly slow.  Eventually I saw my opportunity to pass, so I pulled into the adjacent lane, sped up, and planned to pass you without any issues.  You, however, decided that you were not going to let me pass you.  Instead of driving at the annoyingly slow speed in which you were driving, you decide to pick up the pace and drive right next to me.  So, I continued to speed up, and naturally you proceed to speed right up along with me.  Eventually I caught up to the car in front of me and had to slow down and pull back in behind you.  Because you're apparently a huge dick, you decreased your speed back down to your annoyingly slow speed.  What the fuck, dude?  Why arbitrarily speed up like 20 fucking mph just to prevent me from passing you?  I can't even think of a reason you would want to do this besides the possibility that you simply enjoy being an asshole.  Did I somehow offend you with the notion that you're driving too slow and therefore you decided to prevent me from moving on?  Do you think you're some sort of "neighborhood patrol" of the highway, making sure no one is driving too fast on your watch?  And why are you even in the "fast lane" if you're going to drive so fucking slow?  Move over and drive with the other people ostensibly obeying the speed limit and let the rest of us who want to get the fuck home from work do so at our own pace.

9 comments:

  1. That is a huge pet peeve of mine. That and "buddy drivers", those people who drive side by side with someone else refusing to actually pass.

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  2. Oh, dear. I think that was my husband.

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  3. People do that all the time. I used to have an asshole friend that did that on purpose.

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  4. Cincinnati drivers are the exact same way.. Lol

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  5. Canada - Same problem, nicer reason.

    Once you speed up to pass someone, the slow driver thinks "I'll be polite and speed up so I'm driving like everyone else", forcing you to get behind them again, and then without noticing they slow the fuck down again! Usually someone older.

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  6. I hate passholes like this. What they are doing is not just being a huge dick, but they are also causing a safety hazard. What if, on a two way street, while your trying to pass them another car comes and your still in the middle of trying to pass them because they suddenly sped up.

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  7. Thanks for the blog. I encounter this inexplicable behavior like every freaking 10 miles I drive and simply don't get it.

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  8. I'm not in Boston, but I'm proudly one of those drivers. There's just a sense of satisfaction you get from preventing idiot drivers from being able to pass you......particularly if they had been riding your tail and flashing their lights at you before they attempted to pass.

    The highway system has ONE speed limit which covers all of the lanes. There's no such thing in legal driving as a "fast lane" and "slow lane". If I'm in either lane and driving at the limit, then I'm in the right. The ones in the wrong are the ones going over the posted speed limits or so far under them to stop traffic.

    But if I'm doing the limit (regardless of the lane I'm in), and someone comes up breaking the law by speeding and starts acting like I need to get out of their way, they have another thing coming.

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  9. This just happened to me. I am in Stevensville Montana. I picked my kids up from the bus stop. My youngest who haa asthma and had heart surgery at 3 months old started to choke. We are 15 miles from town. On a back road some old bitch wouldnt let me pass she stopped in the middle of the road. She waved back and forth not allowing me to pass. She almost ran me and the 3 kids off the road. I literally have a child turning blue in my backseat. I have my hazzards on blunking my lights which to most people a sign of distress. I am trying to get next to her to tell her my child is choking. I hit a fork she went one way I went the other. she goes to the pist office and I fly into the Dr office...they are next to each other. The old bitch says you shouldnt drive that fast. I TOLD HER MY CHILD WAS CHOKING IN THE BACKSEAT. You were impeading medical attention for a 6 year old. You couldnt be more evil!!!!

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