Monday, April 23, 2012

Dear Middle-Aged Women in Bar:

You didn't actually wrong me at all; however, your general attitude and apparent displeasure with your beverages was hillarious.  It was about 9pm on a Saturday night in a surprisingly quiet bar.  You two rolled in and went up to the bar and ordered some wine.  I have no idea what you actually ordered, but I'm pretty sure you perused the "wine list" and made a specific selection rather than just ordering some plain old red or white wine.  Upon recieveing your wines, you sniffed them and twirled your glasses and did whatever other pretenious bullshit wine snobs do with their wine.  You then proceeded to vocally complain about the wine and ask the bartender if this was the wine you actually ordered.  The bartender informed you that it was, in fact, the wine you ordered, which prompted you two to look at each other with pained expressions and lament that the wine was too sweet.  Upon being asked if you'd like to try something else, you sighed and said it was fine.  Oh, I'm forgetting one small detail.  You were in some little fucking dirty hipster bar.  This wasn't fucking Napa Valley ladies.  This bar proudly served tall boys of PBR and 'gansett.  The bartop was sticky as shit and the walls were plastered in 1950 porno covers.  You should be happy they even fucking served wine at all.  Also, if I recall correctly, you two were kind of dressed up.  Maybe not super dressed up, but clearly way more dressed up than this bar required. I'm pretty sure most people working and/or drinking at the bar this evening were all wearing some combination of skinny jeans, cutoffs, or "vintage" clothing all with the prerequisite piercings and tattoos.  Anyways, next time you want a fine glass of wine from an upscale establishment, don't be so surprised when the little local hipster hangout isn't up to your standards.

PS -- Yes, I realize I hate hipsters and I have no valid excuse for being in a hipster bar beyond it being a convenient place to grab a quick drink.


  1. Welcome back! I hope you were not wronged at all, hence the hiatus!